Fear ...

The Art of Fear and Life …

Fear … at times it is the demon in the night, bright red eyes, threatening to gut me with the pitchfork, guts falling out while I scream, frozen in terror. The cut is slow and deep, and I can feel every gash, knowing that ‘death’ would be such a gentle solace to the feelings felt in that moment.

Other times, it is like a tsunami wave of dread, unsure … that has taken my consciousness away for the briefest of times …

And often it is the deep dread waiting in the dark corners of my mind … ready to self criticize and pounce in the moment my thoughts slip off the deck of positivity into the deep murky waters of low vibration thinking …

Yet in the range of emotions and states of being expressed in ‘fear’ as we wander through the light and dark corridors of our thinking, blended with past experiences causing me to ongoing generate a perspective shift as I travel in this experience called life … the deeper I understand the range that my emotions go, the easier it is to begin and deal with the moods, emotions, and places that my ever-so-powerful mind flows through.

My earliest memory of fear was as a very young child … we snuck up, overlooking the back yard of the rumored ‘witch’ in our neighborhood. She yelled at children, and the gang I hung with were pretty sure a number of children who had gone missing were to be found in her pot, with the bones being crafted into spells.

We quietly moved up on the hill behind her house. The house had been built into the hill, which had been cut away so we all had a birds eye view of the backyard and into the back of her house. Shhhhhhh … as a few began giggling … do you want to be seen, have a spell cast upon you, and disappear forever … inching ever closer. When we got to our vantage point, 6 young heads peered over the edge and looked down on the home. The ‘witch’ was out back, gardening or doing some such thing. A colorful flowing dress of bright colors, she seemed to be talking to herself and laughing out loud. The silence was broken when she looked up and yelled ‘I see you all up there!!’ We all screamed, jumped up and ran up to the house. We hid behind the garage, sure we would be followed … I reflect back and now I chuckle … yet those early experiences brought fear to my soul …

It was a Saturday afternoon in my early teens. I had just turned the TV on and was confused by a news report on the TV. It was about how the Van Allen Belt was on fire and the world was going to end within a few days. I vividly remember turning the TV off and going and sitting on the back deck, staring at the sky. During the family dinner, I was so quiet, yet so mentally confused. Everybody was just acting normal. THE WORLD WAS GOING TO END! THE VAN ALLEN BELT was on fire. That night, I snuck out and sat on the back deck. It was dark. The news report showed the world heating up and fire in the sky. I was so confused. It said the world was ending … years later I was watching an old 60’s movie, the title escapes me as I write. As I was watching the story, the exact same new report came on about the Van Allen Belt being on fire. I was shocked. I stopped the movie and sat there. After a few minutes, I burst out laughing and crying. At that moment, I was brought back to my early childhood, sitting on the deck looking up to see if I could see the Van Allen Belt on fire …

As I reflected on past fear, these examples arose. Fear is simply one of the emotions I float in and out of my state of being. Yet amongst all the emotions, fear holds a unique place.